the Muslim Man Across the Street
I live across the street from Section 8 housing. It’s generally pretty uneventful, but every so often, things get interesting. Like this morning, for example. I was roused out of deep sleep before 6am by pounding and someone yelling “POLICE!! OPEN THE DOOR!!” followed by gunfire. I jumped out of bed and pulled up my mini-blinds to see a swarm of police cars and vans on the street flanked by officers dressed in riot gear. It looked like a scene out of The Wire (without Stringer Bell, unfort).
But, I digress. Part of living in San Francisco is the strange juxtaposition of low income housing and million dollar condos on the same street. What’s not unusual, however, is that on each corner of the block around the Section 8 housing complex is a liquor store.
The one across the street from me is owned by a Muslim.
I found this out the day I moved into my building. It was an unexpectedly hot day in San Francisco and my poor movers were dripping with sweat lugging my furniture up the stairs of my elevator-free apartment building. My fridge empty and my drinking glasses packed away, I had no choice but to pop into the liquor store to pick up a few bottles of water.
Assalamu Alaykum, sister! I was greeted warmly upon entering the store by the man behind the cash register.
Augh, he’s Muslim? I muttered under my breath before replying “wa alaykum asalaam.”
Is this your store? I asked, while he rang me up. Yes! he replied enthusiastically, not realizing that I was making a mental note to never step foot in there again.
And, I haven’t. Not only have I been on a one woman crusade against the store, I’ve also forbidden my guests from shopping there (of course, both of my parents have broken the embargo — “but we’re out of milk for tea!”). In addition to my girlcott, the owner has been the unfortunate recipient of my cold shoulder. I regularly see him standing outside the store, smoking or shooting the breeze with customers. I either ignore him completely or give him the stink eye–I can’t believe he’s Muslim and selling alcohol to people who live in low incoming housing, I self-righteously think every time I see him.
Despite two years of my attitude, however, he still goes out of his way to smile and nod whenever he sees me. Lately, he’s taken to helping me parallel park (to which I usually, grudgingly, grunt my thanks).
Last night, I came home late, exhausted and frustrated that there was no parking on the street. Instead of driving a few blocks away to find an open space, I circled the block like the po po, hoping something would open up.
And, it did. He was outside his store, smoking and saw me pass by a couple of times. On my third time around, he waved and motioned for me to follow him. He got into his car and moved it–opening up a space for me to park right in front of my building.
I may not like or agree with the way he makes his living, but I can learn something from him about treating others with compassion and kindness, despite how they might treat you.
Thank you for the Muslim Man Across the Street.
sista said,
October 1, 2010 at 3:04 pm
jeez, when did you get so judgemental?!?! the sahaba were still drinking during the time of the Prophet. don’t forget the Qur’an was revealed over 23 years… if you truly cared about what he was doing “wrong” you’d take action to help him. and i can’t believe you did all that without ever having a single conversation/debate with him about it…really?! this is not the nerda i know. i’m glad you came to your senses, alhamdulillah. a friend of mine had this posted on their wall a while back, so i’m not sure who said it, but it’s a great quote:
“Don’t look down on others for their mistakes– it may be that Allah forgives them for their ignorance and punishes you for your arrogance.”
fatnurmaz said,
October 1, 2010 at 3:18 pm
wooooweeee, what a comment! this is not about being judgmental, this is about being displeased with economic exploitation. but it’s a complicated issue. here’s a good read on the subject: http://www.counterpunch.org/alhassen07232010.html. The best line that sums up my attitude is a statement by a local journalist that these Muslim storeowners “sell products to black people that they would never try to sell in their own countries.”
although your point is well taken that there’s never any excuse to be rude/unfriendly to anyone.
suzy alexandria said,
October 1, 2010 at 3:32 pm
i think the point is you learned not to be judgmental. and i think that’s great. we don’t all get such learning opportunities.
p.s. said,
October 1, 2010 at 3:05 pm
roughly: “when a brother of you errs, make 77 excuses for him, and if you still find find fault with him, then the fault is within yourself”
fatnurmaz said,
October 1, 2010 at 3:22 pm
yes, point taken
nkzaman said,
October 12, 2010 at 7:35 am
i love this entry! to me, it’s less about being judgmental and more a reflection on the challenge of having two+ conflicting feelings about someone at the same time. this is such a common relational experience, but can be difficult to make sense of intellectually. it’s much easier to say “i like/dislike X” than it is to hold/struggle with the nuances of how you feel about a person or situation.
i have other thoughts about the economic exploitation (agree with you), the gunshots (scared for you), and your parents needing milk for chai (laugh with you), but i’ll save them for another time. :)
Minaretmuse said,
October 25, 2010 at 10:59 am
I’m with nkzaman on the nuances – I don’t think you were being judgemental.
My bus-stop is across the road from a store called Booze Stop, licensed to a fella undeserving of the name of Mohammed. It’s just around the corner from the local betting shop. I wince every time I pass by, but thankfully have never had the need to step foot inside. ['girlcott' indeed :)]
The economic exploitation of a rundown neighbourhood is a valid enough reason to look askance at a Muslim-owned shop selling alcohol. Imam Zaid Shakir of Zaytuna has actively campaigned and taken to the streets on this issue.
I admire your honesty in acknowledging your conflicted feelings about a man whose business you thoroughly disapprove of, but whose neighbourliness is admirable. And also your humility in being able to learn from him. Someday I’m sure you’ll find the right time and the right way to strike up a conversation about his unethical business.
Nope said,
November 10, 2010 at 7:51 pm
I didn’t know you could buy water at a liquor store!!I thought the liquor stores only sold liquor well I think the one’s here in Canada only sell liquor.